Introduction 

The following are a selection of very funny legal tips from a US criminal lawyer (L. Scott Briscoe).

Legal Tips

  1. Men, when a woman asks you to send proof of your girth and length by holding a credit card next to it in the photo, it’s not your pride and joy she’s wanting to see.
  1. When using a friend’s urine in an attempt to pass a drug screen, drug test your friend first.
  1. Do not plan your next felony over the payphone in jail next to the sign that reads “All phone calls are monitored and recorded”.
  1. Do not ask the victim with a restraining order against you for a ride to court for a hearing to determine whether you have violated your restraining order.
  1. When selecting your alibi, do not choose one who was already in jail while you were “not” committing your own crime.
  1. Avoid bashing the judge in your case on Facebook, especially AFTER you friended him on said Facebook.
  1. When telling the judge you need to get out of jail to donate a spare organ to your dying mother, choose an organ you can spare, such as a kidney. Your liver does not come in a pair and you will need it.

The full list can be found here

Contact Richard Jenkins on 07837 762705 or Richard@clariclegal.co.uk for further advice or assistance (but not on criminal law!).